open letter to bunk note writers

my dearest writers-of-bunk-notes,

i don't believe there's a confidentiality notice for notes written on bunk beds. maybe there is. maybe it's you consider yourself some kind of artist. but i'm just gonna say i think you should get your story straight.  "my friend was killed on this bunk," i'm gonna guess that if someone was killed by a strange person in the woods, they would have at least replaced the bunk. also, why are you telling me and not your counselor? maybe edit it to be "my friend had a really bad ant bite while on this bunk and it became a jellybean and started controlling her body and took over." that i might believe. and on that same bunk: "joe jonas was here." and why is joe jonas at a girl scout camp? it's not the year three-thousand, and no one's great great great granddaughter needs to be checked on. mostly i'm just concerned there.

another gem: "addison is watching you. i am dead." is addison dead? or is a friendly ghost just letting me know that there is a person named addison sleeping outside my window watching me? how does she hold a pen? and why is that written on the bottom bunk? i'm no expert, but i suspect that a ghost might be more comfortable on the top bunk, considering the whole levitation issue. i know what you're saying: "not all ghosts..." but the levitation thing does seem like a constant in the world of spiritual creatures.

perhaps i'm being a bit harsh. after all, you do say later that "mommy and hunter love me!!!!"so you've got that going for you.

good luck with your bunk notes. i'm sure all of the people sanding them off really appreciate it.